“Come unto me, I hear Jesus say. Lay down those things that lead you astray. Will you give all of you to receive all of me? Come away and be set free.” ~Curtis Bridgeman

Lay down those things that lead you astray!! Be set free!!

This is what we must do in order to honestly live for God. We must lay down the things that keep us from Him! We need to get rid of the bitterness, anger, hatred, jealousy, selfishness, even our hurts and pain but the main thing we have to let go of is unforgiveness. And unforgiveness is probably the hardest thing to get rid of. All these things lead us astray and we don't even realize it. Even as Christians, even when you say I am saved, these things hold you back from giving all of you to Him. It is not easy but it can be done!!

“For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” ~Matthew 5:14-15 NIV

Many people want to receive all they can from God, but are not willing to give all of themselves to HIM!

Before I got saved, I was full of anger, hatred, jealousy, selfishness, hurt, and unforgiveness. I held on to those things like they were my breath. I thought my heart could never be healed from all the pain I carried. But to my surprise my heart has been healed and it’s only because I gave all of me to Him and said “here I am, fix me, heal me, show me what You want”.

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make Him out to be a liar and His word has no place in our lives.” ~1John 1:9-10 NIV

I had to forgive myself for all the hurts I had caused others. I had to forgive myself for choices I have made. I had to learn to forgive others. I had to learn to let go of hurts that I had held onto. Hurts that I thought I needed to hang onto to keep me strong. I learned that what was going to make me strong was letting go of them.

Next was my marriage and forgiving my husband and asking for forgiveness. This wasn’t easy but with God’s help it seemed easier. It took time and effort on my part. I learned that in order to be forgiven, I had to forgive. True forgiveness means also to forget. I know we remember things and God wants us to always remember the places He brought us out of. But wipe the slate clean. I will always remember the things that Tony and I have been through in our marriage but the slate has been cleaned, forgiveness has taken place. We have been set free from all that bondage that held us.

I also had to give forgiveness to the ones who had hurt me as a child. These hurts were something else that I held onto. I said I had forgiven but I hadn’t because I held on to the hurt and used it as a weapon and a shield. This one took a long time but I can honestly say this too has been laid at the altar and given it to God. (I recently wrote a blog about this to show the depths that God has brought me from. To show the the depths of forgiveness that has been given. It was a blog that freed me from the shackles I was wrapped in. However, it hurt some people, they felt as though it was a personal attack on them and it wasn’t. I never write a blog to hurt anyone, simply to show how God has worked in my life and to show others that no matter where you are in life, you can be saved by God’s Grace!! I was simply trying to reach someone who was otherwise unreachable. I am a firm believer that we all have experiences in life and we must share them to help others find Jesus Christ!!!)

My hardest and biggest obstacle was forgiving myself for choices I had made. One in particular, I chose my own life over that of my unborn child, Job Thomas. I could not fathom that God could actually forgive me for that. I held onto that hurt because I felt that as long as I grieved over it, I was showing God that I was sorry for what I had done. I actually felt better when I hated myself, when I didn’t feel worthy, because of what I had done. (I know that sounds crazy but someone out there understands what I mean). I thought “how could He forgive me” and I could NOT forgive myself. It wasn’t until recently and with the help of one of the dearest friends I have, that I was able to realize God has forgiven me. And that I needed to forgive myself in order to feel that forgiveness.

“But if it were I, I would appeal to God; I would lay my cause before Him. He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted.” ~Job 5:8-9

I got saved on March 22, 2008 and decided right then to give it all to God. It wasn’t easy and it took some time. I had to work on one thing at a time. The past year has been one of ups and downs but God doesn’t promise us every day is going to be glorious. I will admit that living a Christian life isn’t easy, maybe even the hardest thing I have ever done at first but I now have something wonderful to look forward to everyday of my life. I love knowing that I am a child of God and that He is with me every step of every day. I love knowing that when I mess up, He is there to help me clean it up. When I am hurting, He is there to wipe my tears away. When I am by myself, He is there to take away my loneliness. When I am sick, He is there to heal me. When I am walking through the fire, He is there protecting me so I don’t get burned. He is always there and knowing that helps me overcome every obstacle that comes my way!!! It’s simply amazing and I stand in awe at all times!!

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” ~2Corinthians 5:17

March 22, 2009 is going to be the best day ever!!!! I get to celebrate the first anniversary of being saved in the very place I was saved in….New Vision Ministry Center…and with the very same people who were once strangers that now I call family. I NEVER really lived until the day I walked in New Vision Ministry Center and found Jesus Christ!!!

My smile today is real! Someone recently told me “I can tell you love Jesus by your smile!” I do, I love Jesus Christ and I am NOT ashamed for anyone to know it. Something has happened to me from the inside out!!!

“For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light.” ~Ephesians 5:8 NIV

Take the time to find Jesus. I beg you…do not hide behind your pain. Get it out, give it to God. Begin to live!! This life may be hard sometimes but it’s a life worth living!!! I invite you to visit New Vision Ministry Center. It truly is a place where God reigns.
Take the time today to love on the Lord! He’s right there waiting with open arms! You are His child and He loves you like on one else can!!!!!!

“When life throws you lemons….give them to God!! He makes the best lemonade!!!”

Pay It Forward!

Love to all!

~Shiney ;)

P.S. What are you going to do when God transforms your life? How are you going to change? How are you going to let the world know you are changed through Jesus Christ?

To all my friends and family at New Vision Ministry Center…

Pastor David prayed a prayer at the beginning of the service on March 22, 2008…. “Father God I thank you for bringing us together for a strategic moment such as this. Father God I speak to every person here that you will minister to them in a special way….and let your word accomplish in the things that you sent it to accomplish…..I pray that you have your way and that lives are changed.”

That prayer was answered and I will be forever thankful and forever grateful!!

To Pastor David Boggs, Pastor Luke, Pastor Don, Pastor Curtis, and all of our friends at New Vision Ministry Center….Thank you for helping Tony and I through this past year. Thank you for going on the journey with us. Thank you for believing in us. Thank you for your acceptance of us and making us feel at home. Thank you for the love that you show us daily! I can never express how very much we appreciate each and every one of you. I don’t think any of you will ever know just how much you have done for us and our family!! God bless all of you!!!

God Showed Up!!!

“I take a breath and I’m alive. It feels like for the first time I have seen You through these eyes.Everything I used to be, that lived inside of me, is gone! For the last time, I remember everything I’ve done. But you’ve forgiven each and every one. Now I’m coming back to life. I’m living inside. All of my fears are far behind. And I’m coming back to life. I found what I need. God it’s You, I know it’s You that brings me back to life.” Lyrics by Echoing Angels

Today is my birthday!!!! I am not usually one to get excited over a birthday. But this year, I am very excited. I am excited because it is going to be the best birthday ever. For me, the whole month of March is going to be a celebration. A year ago this month, my life was at its lowest but it was also the beginning of a new life for me. So I truly have some celebrating to do.
But first I have a testimony I need to get out…it’s been a long time coming and what better time to tell it than now!!!

I am always so ready to tell of the miracle God worked in my marriage and in my husband, I have never shared the miracle that God has done in me. So, are you ready to hear it? I am ready to tell of it! This is a long one so sit down and enjoy!!! You won’t want to miss a word!

I stand in awe!!

First I must say, some of what you are about to read may be a bit shocking. This is a story I have never shared but I am now strong enough. I am NOT ashamed nor am I embarrassed. God Never wants us to forget where we came from. This is MY testimony!

“They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony…” ~Revelation 12:11

On March 3, 2008, I turned 36 years old. I was sitting in my room thinking about my life and having a “pity party”. I was drowning in angerness, bitterness, guilt, sadness, and mostly unforgiveness. My heart was so broken that I thought it could never be healed. My thoughts were flooded with the life I had lived and all that had occurred since the very day I was born.

March 3, 1972 I was born to a father who wanted a boy and got a girl, so I was given up by him (that’s what I was told). Only to be adopted by a young man who would rather hit me than hug me. I cannot remember a day when there was not some kind of abuse.

My next stepdad would be better….right? Nope, he decided he would sexually molest me, until the day I walked out of my home at the age of 17. The only man in my life that was ever a father to me was my uncle Danny, who was an alcoholic and he died very young. (He is the one who gave me the nick name Shineysmile)

I drank some bleach when I was about 2, should have killed me but didn’t. I ate a whole bottle of aspirin when I was about 5 or 6, should have killed me but didn’t. I was shot in the chin by my next door neighbor when I was 10 years old. When I was rushed to surgery, I remember the doctors saying, “she is lucky to be alive.”

By the time I was a teen I had a terrible eating disorder that almost took my life. I had anorexia nervosa. I figured I couldn’t control what people were doing to me and I wanted to have some control over my life. So I simply would not eat.

I tried to commit suicide twice, nearly succeeding on the second attempt at age 17. At the time, there was no explanation why it didn’t kill me.

I was in a head on collision when I was barely 18 that almost took my sisters life, my life and the life of an infant who was a passenger. Even though the accident wasn’t my fault, I was the driver so I had so much pain and guilt over the fact that the infant was injured permanently.

I met and fell in love with a man who was an addict. I got pregnant at the age of 18 and at 5 ½ months pregnant an ultra sound showed that the baby had died. I was already having labor pains so my doctor was going to do surgery so that my body wouldn’t have to suffer the trauma of a still birth but first he wanted to watch a ball game. So during this time my water broke and I delivered my son, Brian Anthony Offutt Jr. I only got to get a glimpse of him and it’s a sight I could not get out of my head.

By the age of 26 I had two children; I was full time mom and full time bread winner. One day I woke up and didn’t feel good, I started to lose feeling all over my body and could not swallow food. Since I was the bread winner I had to continue to go to work until one day I woke up and could not move. I found myself in the hospital in ICU paralyzed from the eyes down for no apparent reason. I was in the hospital for over three months. Eventually I was able to move my arms a little but was told the damage to my nerves and muscles were so bad that I would never walk again. During this time, still not sure what was wrong I found out I was pregnant. I was going to have another boy. My doctors told me that in my condition, trying to have this child would likely kill me. I had only a 15% chance of living through a pregnancy; I was forced to make a choice. I chose my own life over my own child’s life. How could God have made me choose? I was so angry with God by this time in my life. I began to question His very existence. Shortly following that, I was forced (for medical reasons) to have a surgery that would prevent me from having anymore children. I accepted this as my punishment for being so selfish and choosing my own life over that of my child.

Shortly after that, we lost our home. I continued to suffer from my devastating illness. After years of traveling from specialist to specialist in many different states, I was finally diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis and over the next 6 years found myself with paralysis two more times. Each time I would have to learn to walk all over again. I lived on a feeding tube for over a year because my esophagus was paralyzed and wouldn’t allow me to swallow food.

With all this my marriage continued to get worse. My husband who was an addict of alcohol and marijuana was now an addict to all my meds.

Once I got diagnosed and started to get treatment, I had my disease under control and decided I needed to make something of myself. I started school. My marriage just got worse and worse until the day I found out about the affairs, I walked out. I took the kids and left. My life was nothing but heartache and misery. I thought leaving my husband would fix everything. I thought I would finally be able to leave everything behind and start a new life. But I was wrong, my pain and misery grew greater every day because now I had even failed at my marriage. I had failed at everything. I pushed everyone away.

Now it was, March 3, 2008, my 36th birthday and I was all alone in this world. No one cared, no one called, it was just me and I was so lost in this world. I had spent my whole life trying to protect others, putting myself aside to try to please someone else…but who was there to protect and care for me? I wasn’t sure of anything except my misery and pain. I was angry, I was bitter, I was hurting, I didn’t like myself. I found it hard to like anyone else and couldn’t believe that anyone could possibly like me.

So with all these memories and in the middle of this ugly separation, I was lying there so angry with God. I was crying so hard, I was hurting so bad. I was so very exhausted from a life of torture and torment. I literally wanted to die. I was ready. I was screaming at the Lord…”You say you won’t give us any more than we can handle. Well I cannot handle anymore. All I have ever asked for from you is Peace and you won’t even give me that!!” I made a deal with God. The deal was…show up or I’m out of here! I said “I will stick around to watch my children turn another year older, than I’m done.” (Beau’s birthday is March 12 and Aril’s is March 26.) After that, I was taking the easy way out. All I wanted to do was die!!

God had other plans…..On March 22, 2008……God showed up!!!!! (Now it gets good....keep reading)

On March 22 I attended New Vision Ministry Center for the first time. Pastor David was doing the sermon series “Call of Duty”. It was a Saturday evening, the evening before Easter. If you don’t think I was meant to be there on that very day just listen to some of the things Pastor David said….(it was like he was speaking directly to me)

“You need to clean out the “dooty” in your life so that God can accomplish His work in your life.” He said, “You don’t have any peace, when you lay your head down at night. You don’t know what it feels like to laugh. Everything you do has gone wrong. You may have found yourself questioning the very existence of God.” He went on to say, “Come, lay down everything that separates you from God. Today you have come to the right place, so that you can have an exchange at the altar with your “dooty” for the Grace of almighty God.” “We serve a God that is very much alive and He’s here to heal your broken heart.” “ I pledge to you that this Pastor, this staff, this church will be right here with a shovel in our hand to help you clean your stall, not because we are perfect but because we understand what it’s like. Jesus loves you like nobody else can.”

Then he went on to offer an altar call saying… “If you’re here today and you say I’m up to my eyeballs in dooty, there is so much stuff in my life I don’t know what to do. Somehow I found this church, someone begged me to come. They wouldn’t leave me alone, they said you got to come and so here I am. I need Jesus in my life.”

I grabbed Krystal’s hand (my niece who begged me to come) and I went to the altar. I was crying my eyes out and all I could think of was I couldn’t get to the altar fast enough. I didn’t want to leave that altar, ever!!

I made a life changing altar call. I got saved that very day. I took all my garbage, all my sin, all my hurts, all my “dooty” to that altar and laid it down. It was a heavy load I had carried my whole life. I thought it was too big for even God to take but I gave it to Him and He took it all away!! God knew I could not handle another day of the life I was living. He knew that I was suffering and He ended it for me. I cried out to Him and He listened. He told me that very day that He wanted me to LIVE for Him.

Pastor David was true to his word….he, the staff and the church were all there with their shovels helping me to clean my stall! They were with me every step of the way.

I now LIVE!!! I live for Him because of Him!! Before March 22, 2008 I never really knew Jesus Christ. I thought I did, I went to church on occasion; I talked to Him and prayed to Him. But I NEVER had a relationship with Jesus Christ!!! I do now!!

I learned that God loves me which helped me to learn to love myself. Once I learned to love me, I realized I could love others and that others could love me back! Knowing you are loved is such an amazing feeling!

God has been right there by my side since the day I was born. It is because of Him that I lived through some times in my life that should have killed me. It is because of Him that I am alive today!! It is because of Him that I am set free from all that bondage.

I will worship Him every day of my life. He is the reason I am here, He is the reason I am forgiven, He is the reason I forgive, He is the reason I am able to stand. Without Him I am nothing!!

I do not blame the trials of my life on the devil, I do not say the enemy made all those things happen to me in my life. To say that would be like giving him credit for the person I am today. God is who gets all the credit for what I am today. I believe that God allowed me to suffer trials and tribulation because before I was even born He knew what plans He had for me. I would not be the person I am today had my life been perfect. I would not be serving Him the way I do had my life been any different. I can honestly say that I thank God daily for my past life. It has made me the person I am today. God allowed things to happen in my life so that I could turn it around for His glory. He has been molding me and disciplining me each and every day of my life.

I am now ready to do the work He has been training me for!!!!

I walked the earth for 36 years, just a shell of a person. I NEVER lived until the day I was introduced to Jesus Christ. Now I live and life is beautiful!! I won’t spend one day of my new life wasted. God gave me a new life in order to tell of His Grace and Mercy, so that is what I intent to do.

I have found the greatest love of all….Jesus Christ who strengthens me!!!....

Don’t, for a moment, think that God can’t help you. Don’t think that you have too much to bring to God, that your burdens are too heavy. Don’t sit there in your pain and loneliness and think that God doesn’t love you. He does! He wants you to give Him all your burdens and when you give them to Him, He will take them and carry them for you. He wants you to want Him. He wants you to live for Him.

Please take the time to find Jesus Christ and ask Him into your heart.

May God's Loving Grace Shine Upon You Today and Everyday!

Love to all.

Pay It Forward!

~Shiney

One Set of Footprints!!

My TEST becomes My TESTIMONY!!!!

As most of you know, I have suffered tremendously with my knees over the past two weeks. I have had severe pain when walking. A quote from my last blog…… “this pain had become pretty much unbearable. I cannot begin to describe this pain, I couldn’t rest, I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat, it was just so intense!” That’s the only way I can explain it.

Monday (Feb. 2) I had an appointment to see the specialist who did an MRI to check for Synovial Sarcoma. It was a day just like any other except I was a little anxious; a lot had gone on the night before. Plus my pain was back full force and my legs were swollen.
So I got my bible out, listened to a little Curtis Bridgeman. I was facing my day with the Lord beside me.

I was off to the doctor. I sign in, they call me back, now sitting and waiting for the doc to come in. He comes in sits down, shakes his head and says….”You have the highest tolerance for pain of anyone I have ever met!” I guess I looked shocked because immediately he smiled at me in an effort to comfort me. He continued, “I have never seen anything like this. You should NOT have been able to walk into my office.” Again, I must have looked shocked. He said, “You don’t have cancer or anything like that, you have double fractures in both your knees, your left one is severe, you have bone marrow deposits outside the bone, plus two torn meniscus. I have never seen someone be able to actually walk in my office with both knees fractured.” My immediate response was, “What did you just say?” All I heard was you have no cancer. All I could think was.....Praise the Lord. He repeated himself and he went on and on about how I shouldn’t have been able to walk. Reality began to set in. It finally all made sense.

He pulls out a three page MRI report. He went on to say that even the radiologist was impressed that I was actually walking. The pain alone should have stopped me from being able to take even one step. I told him I never stopped walking and doing the things I had to do. And in two weeks I had only taken something mild for pain two times. I didn’t even take a shot of pain medicine in the ER. However, I did do the bed rest thing for a few days but most days it just wasn’t happening. He asked what all I had done in the two weeks since my pain started, my list was long!

That Monday I walked 2 miles on a treadmill at 4 mph on an incline, several days I walked the college campus (up and down hills), never missed a day of church, kept my house clean and laundry done, I have 2 sets of stairs in my house and walked them several times daily, went to the grocery, hosted a Super Bowl party, etc….my list went on and on! (I told him of my experience with being paralyzed and how it taught me not to waste one day of your life no matter what obstacle was in your way!) The doctor was in amazement at all this. He said, “There’s really no explanation for what you’re telling me. I guess all I can say is, it’s amazing what a person can do when they have determination.” I looked up at him and said, “The Lord is the explanation and yes, it is amazing what a person can do when they give all their problems to Him!” I said, “The Lord simply carried me through this. This is one of those times when there is only one set of foot prints in the sand!”

So, my treatment? No weight on my knees (no walking) at all for 30 days. Rescan again in 30 days to check for permanent damage (because with all I was doing he is sure there is some) surgery to correct any damage and surgery to fix the torn meniscus. So I have a wheel chair and crutches. I know I will have total healing, in Jesus name. I will be fine, as always!!

God is good….actually He’s AMAZING!!!

Please understand I only post blogs like this to tell of the Glory of God and how when you depend totally on Him, He can and will bring you through anything and everything!! The next month is going to be a trying one for me, this I know. But I also know that I will get through it!
God allows things to happen, bad and good. Everything happens for a reason. And I know that what I have been through in the past two weeks, only the Lord really knows, and I am thankful for every pain I felt because it has served to make me so much stronger….physically, emotionally, and most of all spiritually!!

If you don’t already know Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, please take some time to get to know Him. I know a place where you can go to find Him…..New Vision Ministry Center!!! Come and See!! Let you test become your testimony!!

May God’s Loving Grace Shine Upon You Today and Everyday!

Pay It Forward!

Love to all,

~Shiney ;)

My Test will become My Testimony!!!

I was training for the mini that is coming up in April. I started running, which is something I hadn’t done in at least 8 years. It was an awesome feeling. God had healed my MS, I was able to run! It was an awesome feeling and I was overjoyed. I began to try to run every day, along with weight training. I was feeling great!! This was the start of a new and wonderful year for me….I had joined WOW (Wings of Worship) and we (Tony and I) had started our own ministry class (L.O.V.E. 4-Life) at New Vision Ministry Center.


After about a week and a half of training and running, my knees started hurting. It wasn’t the normal hurt but I decided to ignore it. Run through my pain, no pain no gain!! Consistency is the Key to breakthrough…right?


However, the pain I was feeling wasn’t in my muscles, it was in my bones. So after about three days or so, I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to stop training. The last day I trained was Monday Jan. 19, the pain was bad but I decided to try to walk anyway so I walked 2 miles cringing all the way. By Tuesday I was in so much pain I could hardly walk.


So I decided that a few days off would clear all this up and I would be fine in no time!! So I continued to go to classes and things like that but no training. No relief and by Thursday night (Jan. 22) the pain was so unbearable I was in tears. And my legs had begun to swell, fluid was building up on my knees, the swelling went into my calves and feet. So I went to the ER.


If you know me you know that I can tolerate a lot. I have had to my whole life. Life has taught me not to be a wimp!! It takes a lot to get me down. I haven’t missed a day of school since being in college and I am a senior, that right there should tell you something!!


So at the ER, there were X-rays and a Doppler study. Everything was okay, no blood clots, no broken bones! The X-rays were not totally normal. So, I was off to a specialist Friday morning (Jan. 23).


The specialist wanted more x-rays and blood tests. The x-rays came back and he couldn’t believe that at my age the arthritis was so bad. There has to be an underlying reason for this. He decided to run more tests for things like Rheumatoid arthritis, leukemia, bone cancer, gout, etc. I was put on bed rest….for me this was asking a lot! I went to church service on Sunday (Jan. 25), and everyone prayed for me….it meant so much to me! I left there knowing that The Lord was on my side and that all my trust was in Him.


Monday morning (Jan. 26) it was off to another specialist. This time he ordered an MRI. I wasn’t going to have the MRI done until Thursday morning (Jan. 29). He was the one who mentioned Synovial Sarcoma, an uncommon soft tissue malignancy mostly found in the knee joint. It can look like bad arthritis on x-ray. But an MRI would distinguish between the two. He mentioned it in such a way that said “No big deal”....to him maybe. So I was okay with that.....not really!! This pain had become pretty much unbearable. I cannot begin to describe this pain, I couldn’t rest, I couldn’t sleep, and it was just so intense!


The week was long. I needed some time with just the Lord and I. I got just that. I cried out to Him. I couldn’t take anymore, the worry, the pain!! Yes, it was a pity party and the only one I invited was the Lord!! I sat there and talked to Him as if He were sitting right in front of me! I cried to Him, I screamed to Him, I talked to Him, I asked questions, and all the while He quietly listened. Then I just laid there and waited for Him to speak to me. He was right there with me and made His presence known…….this is a moment I will never forget. I had almost three days with the Lord!


I slept a lot during this time; I hadn’t slept in days from the pain! I needed that rest!! I woke up Friday morning (Jan. 30) and went to the doctor, all labs were good. Except my glucose, it was high…….imagine that! I could breathe again….but……I don’t have the results of the MRI! I get those Monday (Feb. 2), the MRI is what will show any Synovial Sarcoma……IF it’s there. My faith is in the Lord!

On my way to the doctor the first song I heard was “Every time I breathe” by Big Daddy Weave. I just knew it was a song the Lord wanted me to hear at that moment. It was exactly how I felt. I love how music can say what you are feeling!!! I have no worries about those tests. I feel there is a reason I have gone through this, just one more testimony He wants me to have. He knows that I will NOT stay quiet when given the chance to testify.


I woke up this morning at 4:30, I just can’t sleep. I got up to a text message from a dear friend, who is such an inspiration to me (more than she knows) and in that text message was a scripture…1Corinthians 2:5 “so that your faith might not rest on men’s wisdom, but on God’s power.” Thank You Tammy!! Just another confirmation to me that ALL is going to be fine!!!
So I am fine, I will be fine! My knees feel pretty good this morning, not much swelling, not much pain! The enemy is learning that he cannot change my FAITH!! He now knows that I am the Lord’s child and no matter what the enemy throws at me, I will NOT let go of my love and devotion to my Lord!


Take a moment to Love on the Lord, He WILL love on you right back!!! And when He does, it’s the best love you will ever have.


May God’s Loving Grace Shine Upon You Today and Everyday!!!

Pay It Forward!

Love to all,
Shiney ;)

P. S. I will keep you posted on all test results! Remember...NO WORRIES!!!

"Every time I breathe"
I am sure all of heaven’s heard me cry

As I tell You all the reasons whyThis life is just too hard
But day by dayWithout fail

I’m finding everything I need

And everything that You areTo me

Chorus:

Every time I breathe

You seem a little bit closer

I never want to leave

I want to stay in Your warm embrace

Oh basking in the glory

shining from Your face

And every time I get another glimpse of Your heart

I realize it’s true

That You are so marvelous God

And I am so in love with You

Yeah yeah yeah yeah

So in love with You

Now how could I after knowing

One so great

Respond to You in any way

That’s less than all I have to give

But by Your grace

I want to love You

not with whatI say

But everyday

In the way that my life is lived

Chorus:

Every time I breathe

You seem a little bit closer

I never want to leave

I want to stay in

Your warm embrace

Oh basking in the glory

shining from Your face

And every time

I get another glimpse of Your heart

I realize it’s true

That You are so marvelous God

And I am so in love with You
Wrapped in Your mercy

I want to live and never leave

I am held by how humble

Yet overwhelmed by Your majesty

Captured by grace and now

I’m findingI am free

You are marvelous God

And knowing You is everything
Chorus:

Every time I breathe

You seem a little bit closer

I never want to leave

I want to stay in Your warm embrace

Oh basking in the glory

shining from Your face

And every time I get another glimpse

of Your heartI realize it’s true

That You are so marvelous God

And I am so in love with You
Yeah yeah yeah yeah

I’m so in love with You

I’m so in love with You

This Must Be Love!!

I was at the gym Tuesday evening, walking the track. I am trying to get ready for the mini marathon coming in April.

I was going around the track walking fast wanting to run. I wanted to run so bad but I was soooo afraid. You see, I was once paralyzed from the eyes down and told I would never walk again, much less run. I had Multiple Sclerosis. Once I did finally learn to walk again I still had balance problems and extreme weakness. So there I am walking the track wanting to run, I haven’t run in 8 years. When you have MS you cannot run. But you see God healed me from MS on Nov. 1 2008. I have total faith in that healing yet was still afraid to run.

So there I was walking the track, talking to the Lord about running. “Give me the strength to do this, let me let go of the fear to run!”

I had left my iPod at home so I had to suffer through their music which was okay. It was the kind of music I grew up to, 80’s rock. The DJ said “coming up next whitesnake - Is this love”. I began to think of all the things that song would remind me of. Whitesnake was big in my teen years. I was dreading hearing that song, I didn’t want to think about my teen years right now, I was trying to concentrate on running! The song started and there I was in the middle of a conversation with the Lord. Suddenly and to my surprise, it no longer seemed like a song from the 80’s. It no longer seemed like a rock song. It seemed to me like a Christian song, a love song for Jesus!! As the words came, all I could think of was...."this is exactly how I feel since being saved and having a relationship with Jesus Christ."

“Is this love that I’m feeling? Is this the love that I’ve been searching for? Is this love or am I dreaming? This must be love, cause it’s really got a hold on me.”

The second verse of the song came on……

"I can’t stop this feeling, I’ve never been this way before. But with you I’ve found the key to open any door. I can feel my love for you growing stronger day by day, and I can’t wait to see you again so I can hold you in my arms.”

And the tears began rolling down my face, which happens often when I think of the love that I have for Jesus Christ, the love He has for us, and what He went through for us. Suddenly I just started running, I ran and ran. My son Beau and daughter Aril were with me. My daughter said “Momma, your running, your running!” Without even thinking about it, I had let go of my fear. It was awesome. I ended up running 2.6 miles in 33 minutes. Not bad for my first run in 8 years.

Never give up!!

I pray that you let go of your fears, what ever they may be. But most of all I pray that you will find love, the kind of love that can only come from Jesus Christ. It's the only love that will fill all the emptiness you have inside. It's the only true love there is. Ask Him to come into your heart, into your life, He's right there waiting!!!

Seek the Lord daily, every minute of every day, in all you do!!

May God’s Loving Grace Shine Upon You Today and Everyday!

Pay It Forward!
Love to all,
~Shiney ;)

ONE TRUE MIRACLE

One True Miracle
"It's Thanksgiving Day already" that was my first thought when I got up this morning. I love this time of year, always have, but this day would be the best Thanksgiving Day ever!!!!
I was so excited to get up and get my day started. I got up super early, got my coffee and grabbed my bible, oh yeah….and my powdered donuts. I sat for a while reading His word, just me and God, and He quickly reminded me that I have so many things to be Thankful for this Thanksgiving Day! This made me begin to reflect on my life and it is then that I realized just how very special today truly is.

First of all, the family that I was to celebrate the day with is now closer than I could ever imagine!! They have watched Tony and I turn our lives completely around, find peace and follow Christ. They have witnessed a miracle and wanted some of the same. We lead by example, never pushing and we never stopped being in prayer for them. Just in the past few months most of my family has gotten saved and accepted Christ in their life. They are now on the journey with us. There are many more members of our families that we are in prayer for and I know that God, in His own time, will bring them along our journey.
"if my people who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land." ~2Chronicles 7:14

The True Miracle……….You see, this is the very first Thanksgiving Day that my husband has been clean and sober. This is the very first "real" Thanksgiving Day we have really shared together. For nineteen years on Thanksgiving Day I would visit family by myself with the kids, all the while making excuses for why Tony wasn't with me. Or I would just stay home. If we stayed home I would be too embarrassed to invite anyone over because he was either drunk, high, or both. If someone did stop by he would simply go to the bedroom, shut the door, and stay there until they would leave. However, usually by then he was passed out so there was no time spent together as a family. Even when I was pregnant or when they were babies, I was always so alone. If we were together there was always fighting, sometimes through the night into the next morning. It was nineteen years of heartache that no one but God will ever know the pain from. The hardest part to all these years of drug and alcohol abuse, physical and mental abuse, is that most of the time I kept it to myself, it was this huge embarrassing secret I kept to myself to protect Tony and to protect me. People knew things were bad in my marriage but they didn't know the full extent of how truly destructive my marriage was. But I never stopped praying for God to help my husband!
"And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him." ~Hebrews 11:6

I don't tell this to put Tony down or to embarrass him; I tell this story so that everyone will see what I see, a true miracle.

This is the day I prayed for, for nineteen years. Tony and I cooked our first Thanksgiving dinner together, side by side!! Our home was over flowing with family and friends. God has not only worked a miracle in my life by healing my heart, the true miracle in this story is Tony!! The people that didn't know him before this miracle occurred cannot imagine that he was ever any different than he is now. The ones who have known him and have witnessed this transformation are amazed.

So as the day went on, I would find myself just stopping and looking around. I even started to cry a few times (imagine that….LOL). It has truly happened; I was living a new "normal" life. One I had only dreamt of, one I had prayed for, for a very long time! Several times throughout the day I would stop what I was doing and just praise God for all He has done for me…..I am not worthy of witnessing such miracles in one lifetime!! I would stand back, watch, and give Him thanks for all He has done for me, Tony and my family!

Some might ask why I blog things like this and tell of the past so much but it is the past that makes this such a wonderful story, without the past you would never see the True Miracle. I will NEVER stop telling of what God has done for me and my family!!! What used to be so embarrassing to me that I tried to keep it a secret is now something I want to tell the world. It is a True Miracle from God!! I will speak of it at all times and I will forever tell of His miracles!
"….Go home to your family and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how He has had mercy on you." ~Mark 5:19

I hope the ones, who celebrated this day with us, realize that they were in the presence of a TRUE MIRACLE!!

Only God can do something like this!!

I give God all the Praise, Honor and Glory!!!

Paul to Timothy….."Do not be ashamed to testify about our Lord, or ashamed of me his prisoner. But join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God, who has saved us and called us to a holy life-not because of anything we have done but because of His own purpose and grace." ~2Timothy 1:8-9

May each of you experience God's Loving Grace!!

I hope that everyone had a Wonderful Thanksgiving! Continue to give thanks always! And I want to thank each and everyone who came out to celebrate our First Thanksgiving with us. It would not have been the same with out all of you!! We love and cherish each and every one of you!!!
Love to all!
Pay It Forward!
~Shiney

P.S. We are going to get our family portraits made this year, it's another first for us. So yes, I am excited about it!! Blog about that coming soon to a blogspot near you....LOL!!!!

Why do I cry?

Why do I cry?
I haven't blogged if a long time it's not because I don't have much to say….believe me I have tons but it's because I have been so extremely busy with school. School is tough this semester, very overwhelming and I am not too proud to admit I am struggling but God will see me through. I am doing my part by staying faithful in my studies and I am leaving the rest in God's hands. I know He is with me.
For those of you who do not know…..in March of this year I found a new church, where I found Jesus Christ and I got saved. I than began a journey I never imagined I would be on. I call it my Journey with Christ. When my journey began I was so scared, of what I am not sure. And I wasn't sure where it would lead me. Since then, as most of you know, my life has literally been transformed. My husband, my daughter, my son and I have all been baptized. Oct 19 was the best day of my life, a life changing experience. I got baptized which was awesome but I said to my friend "yes this is an awesome day but the day my son gets baptized will be even better." Moments later my son stood up and asked to be baptized. WOW!!!

I was getting dried off when I heard this and went running down the aisle, I began to sob uncontrollably. Later my son said to me "mom when you came running you were crying so hard, like they were killing me or something. Why would you cry like that? You cry all the time now….why?" That was when I noticed that I was crying very hard the moment my son was getting baptized and I cry every single time I began to praise God, I begin to cry the moment I start to pray, sometimes I cry when I am reading the bible. I mentioned to a dear friend about my crying and his reply was…"Don't lose those tears…you have paid a heavy price for them so you can cry all you want." His words will forever be in my heart. And yes, those who know me and know how my life has been would agree that the price I paid was heavy…but there are many reasons why I cry.

Why do I cry…..I cry because I stand in awe of what He has done for me. Who am I to deserve what He has done for me? Who am I to deserve the blessings He has bestowed upon my life? I can never repay Him, yet He continues to bless me. I still have difficult times but He always sees me through them. I am not worthy of His presence in my life. I am not worthy!!!

Why do I cry…..I cry because I cannot fathom what Jesus went through for us…yes, all of us and look how we treat Him. His friends denied Him, His head was pierced with a crown of thorns, He was beaten beyond comprehension, He was made to carry the heavy cross while on lookers mocked Him, knowing that it was the cross they were going to nail Him to, He knew he was going to be crucified, yet He never once said I cannot take another step, I cannot do this. Jesus didn't tap! He continued to do this for us, so that our sins may be forgiven. Most of us are afraid to even stand up and say we know Him, yet He would never do that to any of us nor will he turn His back on any of us. Yes He allows us to experience hurts and heartache but He is always there right beside us, carrying us during our hardest times. And yet, most of us do not even stop and take one moment of our day to thank Him. Most of us are embarrassed to say I know Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior.

Why do I cry….I cry because yes my life has been what most would say is unbelievable, that if written in a book most would think was fiction, yet God brought me through it. All the while, He was with me. Patiently waiting for the day I would come to Him. And when I did come to Him, He had his arms wide open. I could actually feel Him hugging me on that day and it's a feeling I never want to lose. My only regret in life is that I didn't find Him sooner. But I will never regret my suffering, He suffered for me and my suffering doesn't compare to His suffering, I am willing to suffer for Him. My suffering only makes my walk with Him stronger, my love for Him deeper!!! I went down the roads I traveled and I do not question why any of my life has happened because it serves to make me a stronger person in Christ. I am crying while I type this and yes they are tears of joy!! I will never try to stop my tears from falling. God deserves them. My love for Him is so strong and I will continue to try to live each and everyday for Him. Do I mess up? Absolutely….we all do, we all fall short but our God so loves us that He forgives us instantly.

He's patiently waiting for you. Just reach out and grab His hand He will take you and give you the best hug you will ever experience!! You will have peace and no one can give you that but Him. No amount of money or material item can give you that. Accept Christ in your life….it is something you will never regret!!!!
I pray that if you haven't given your life to Christ that you will today!! And I invite you to the most amazing place on earth…New Vision Ministry Center!! For information about NVMC go to NVMC.tv or email me at shineysmile@aol.com.
God loves you like no one can!!
Have a happy day!
Love to all,
Shiney ;)

P.S. My son recently got in a fight with another boy because the boy was saying "your momma is a Jesus freak, she has lost her mind" and the boy kept taunting my son. Beau was hurt by this so they got in a fight. I told Beau..."Bub, it's okay. Don't let it hurt you because it sure doesn't hurt me. I take that as a compliment. It only means I must be doing something right." Praise God!!!